My mother left me a voicemail on Tuesday and asked, in a very perplexed bordering on suspicious voice, “ Do you know someone by the name of ( dramatic pause) Ginnie Mayhew? This lady is nuts- harassing me on the email. Call me back”
My mother is one of these people that will act tough as nails and maybe even instigate some ill will and then spend hours paralyzed with fear worrying about the retribution so if she tells you about a fight or how someone “ is nuts” you gotta ask a lot of questions to get the real story.
She’ll say “ That cashier at the corner store is a real nut. Ya know, the other day she told me I’m not funny.”
Me: “Well, what did you say to her?”
Her: “Nothing!”
Me:” You walked into the store, didn’t say a WORD? And she blurted out “ You’re not funny””
Her: “ Well, I mean, she was ringing me up and I said something about the fact that she didn’t return my “hello” when I approached the counter and she didn’t laugh and I said “it’s a joke “ and she said it wasn’t funny”
Me: “So you gave the fourteen year old Mom -who is most likely clinically depressed - shit for not enjoying her job and she didn’t see the humor in it ? Wow - she is a nut. Stay outta there Ma. Shop somewhere else”
Growing up with my mother has made me a great interrogator, much to the chagrin of any manboy I have ever dated, been curious about, or just plain been one- sided in love with. I can question things to death.
“Ginnie Mayhew” forwarded my mother an email that she had received from OfficeTeam telling her what to bring to her appointment with them. The items she needed to bring were as follows:
® A hard copy of your resume.
® The names, titles and phone numbers of a minimum of three professional references.
® Proper identification
This seemed excessive to Ginnie and she forwarded the email to my mother with a note saying
“This is what is needed to get an interview for a part time or temp job. I may not go. Why in God’s name”
Which actually sounds like an email a friend of my mother’s would write.
My mother just sent the email back without writing anything.
Why? She felt “pushed” by this unsolicited email and she “pushed back”.
Ginnie immediately writes back “ What?”
To which my mother responds “ I don’t know you”
And Ginnie comes back with “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
And that’s when I got called in.
This is when the situation became fearful, when Ginnie stopped making sense and ceased using real words. When the defendant, Ms. Mayhew,made ghost noises over email. That – right there- crosses the line from some weird email from a stranger that is just annoying enough to cause a 50 something year old woman to send an inexplicable response, to blatant harassment. Which is what my mother called it.
“Did you see what she wrote? That is blatant harassment. Who is this woman? She’s a nut. How did she get my email? Why would she forward me that? “
I don’t know Ginnie Mayhew but I have a sneaking suspicion my mother does but she can’t remember how.
I would wager Ginnie Mayhew is telling her friends and family what a nut Carol Cunningham is. “ Can you believe this woman? Saying “ I don’t know you”? Is she out of her mind? “
Ginnie got the last “ OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” but my mother is still imagining some crazed vengeful scenario and sharing it with me.
That’s where I get my catastrophic thinking.
The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.
LA, Ready for Game 1? We ahhhhhhhhhhhh Go CELTICS!
Thanks for listening
Kisses-
Kendra
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
www.kendracunningham.com
