Shitbox Wishes

I was talking to my mother about renting a car to drive to Cape Cod in May for my sister’s birthday.
“I wish I had a shitbox up here you could use” she said.
“Thanks Mom, but I’ll pay to have a car that somebody has been taking care of”
“Ahhah, you know what I mean, it’d be nice if I had an old car you could use when you come home. What do you need a nice car for?hahaha”

This is an innate mentality in my family “I wish I had a low budget solution that may or may not cause you additional problems but at least I helped with the problem I was trying to solve.
I don’t want to completely alleviate the problem, I just want to find another option, a step or two away from the worst case scenario, to offer you, because I’m your family and I want better for you, not the best, just better”

The sad part of this scenario is, it would be nice if she had a shitbox I could use when I went home. I welcome a shitbox. I have been the owner of many shitboxes in my lifetime. It’s not unfamiliar, it’s not a step down, it’s status quo. I was in a friend’s car recently and the roof upholstery was hanging off the ceiling, brushing the top of my head; talk about an emotional trigger. I felt like I was 17 again.

In the few instances where a family member had a luxury brand automobile, it was used, sometimes even “vintage” aka “very used” Even when we upgrade, its a modest enhancement, a humble progress. No showboating! My family doesn’t approve of showboats.
Nice cars are more apt to be the recipients of Cunningham road rage.
“So your car has less than 5000 miles on it. Big whoop. What? You think you’re better than me with your recently assembled automobile? I work hard and I’m a good person. Nobody is better than me! Nobody! Oh crap. That’s Father McCarthy. …
Hiii Father!! Nice to see you! Nice car! .. Oh stop! You deserve it! “

Thanks for listening!
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn. She owns a $3000 bed where she eats, sleeps, and occasionally entertains.
twitter @theotherkendra
Instagram @theotherkendra

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Kendra Cunningham is a stand-up comic, comedy writer, actress and filmmaker living in Brooklyn.