Mom vs. Alexa

My family always plays games over the holidays. It’s usually Scrabble or Rummy 500 but this year we played Cards against Humanity.
4 opponents: Me My Sister My mother My uncle
My uncle is a poet and a professor who lived in Japan for 21 years. Me – My mom and My sister- we’re just regular peeps.
We played in my sister’s dining room on Christmas by candlelight. I really enjoyed the lighting. I’m not sure if I told my sister that but I should have. It was a slow start but it picked up speed. We have a short video of my uncle reading the Cards against humanity card:
Uncle: “Well, if you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I have a date with ….(answer 1) man meat”
Mom: man meet? Like M E E T
Me: no!
My sister: no meat like M E A T
Uncle: like the meat that only a man would have
Mom: (laughing) sounds good
There were some pretty racey ones but when you read dirty statements by candle light to people over 60 it’s less naughty and more educational. There was a lot of “but what does that even mean?”
We had a great time and, if I remember correctly, I tied with my mother for the win.
We forgot to put money on the game so it doesn’t really matter anyway. I didn’t walk away with anything except a new catchphrase “man meat”
I’m telling you, man meat can make any conversation funny.
Last week I used the old phrase “get off my case, toilet face”
The people I was telling the story to accused me of making the phrase up.
I called my mother.
Me: Mom, do you remember the phrase “get off my case, toilet face?”
Mom: of course!
Me: is it a Boston thing? I used it today and people said I made it up.
Mom: yeah, it’s a Boston thing. It’s been around forever.
Me: it got a good laugh.
Mom: it’s a funny saying. I’m gonna start saying it again.
Later that day, I googled it.
Turns out it’s not a Boston colloquialism at all. It’s from Welcome Back Kotter. Even better!
I called my mother back and told her what I found out.
She said “That’s bullshit. C’mon, give me a break. Google is wrong”
She just got an Amazon Alexa for Christmas. She called me so I could listen to her talk to Alexa.
Mom: Alexa, you’re nothing but a sad sack
Alexa: That is not a very nice thing to say
Mom: hahahahahahah did you hear her?
I feel bad for Alexa. I think she’s gonna have a long year.

Thanks for listening!
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
twitter @theotherkendra

Kendra Cunningham is a stand-up comic, comedy writer, actress and filmmaker living in Brooklyn.