Mall Whore

Last week I got lost in the Palisades mall. If you have never been to the Palisades mall, it is a big mall with lots of different escalators and arms of stores stretching out in […]

Emergency Room Car Pool

I’m trying to be better with money. I can’t bring myself to get on a budget because the word itself feels constricting. It’s not like I buy big-ticket items. That’s what I say to myself […]

Missing Quarters Report

I just spent five days in Boston for the Women in Comedy Festival. I split my time between my mother’s and my sister’s. I love spending big hunks of time with my family. It’s nice […]

Inborn Eavesdropping

I talk to my mother quite a bit on the phone. So much that sometimes it feels as if neither one of us is retaining much of the conversation. “What are you doing tonight?” “I […]

unbuttered bagel apology

Yesterday I walked three blocks to return a bagel that had not been buttered. It was around 11:30 in the morning and the receipt showed I had purchased the bagel at 8:58 am. There was […]

Coffee Roll Demand

There is something about Dunkin Donuts coffee rolls that eases my homesickness. Two Saturdays ago I went to the Dunkin Donuts on Smith street in Brooklyn which they just did over, by the way. It […]

Red Faced Tell

Yesterday my sister texted a photo of 20 million dollars found in a Brazilian guy’s bed frame in Marlborough Massachusetts. I guess I’m sleeping with the wrong guys. There’s something about the world of crime […]

Mom vs. Alexa

My family always plays games over the holidays. It’s usually Scrabble or Rummy 500 but this year we played Cards against Humanity. 4 opponents: Me My Sister My mother My uncle My uncle is a […]