Inborn Eavesdropping

I talk to my mother quite a bit on the phone. So much that sometimes it feels as if neither one of us is retaining much of the conversation. “What are you doing tonight?” “I […]

unbuttered bagel apology

Yesterday I walked three blocks to return a bagel that had not been buttered. It was around 11:30 in the morning and the receipt showed I had purchased the bagel at 8:58 am. There was […]

Coffee Roll Demand

There is something about Dunkin Donuts coffee rolls that eases my homesickness. Two Saturdays ago I went to the Dunkin Donuts on Smith street in Brooklyn which they just did over, by the way. It […]

Red Faced Tell

Yesterday my sister texted a photo of 20 million dollars found in a Brazilian guy’s bed frame in Marlborough Massachusetts. I guess I’m sleeping with the wrong guys. There’s something about the world of crime […]

Mom vs. Alexa

My family always plays games over the holidays. It’s usually Scrabble or Rummy 500 but this year we played Cards against Humanity. 4 opponents: Me My Sister My mother My uncle My uncle is a […]

Metropolitan March

When I was little I used to play these weird head games with my sister over McDonald’s French fries. Every time we got McDonald’s I would pretend I ate all my fries then I would […]

Meat Raffle Mockumentary: 2017

I called my mother earlier and she had to run for the phone because she was bringing meat to her friend’s place. She recently went to her first meat raffle and won a 27 pound […]

Christmas Memories

Christmas 2010: I spent most of last week in Boston with a horrible cold driving relying on my mother or my sister to drive me around. I had a runny nose and cough. Being a […]